a few seconds ago
okay, real talk. •
ever since enrolling to get my PT certification and jumping back into the gym full time I have been SO insanely discouraged. going from being able to squat more than my body weight with no problem, to struggling with half is not easy. •
in the last year i’ve basically put the gym on the back burner. i’d go here and there, but it really wasn’t a priority for me. there was always something else that seemed more important at the time. I let my eating habits slip back into an unhealthy zone, and my disordered behavior around food came back full force. after years of suffering from extreme anxiety and depression, the gym really became an outlet for me. I stopped self medicating with alcohol and food and started focusing on something I could actually control. it wasn’t a cure, but it sure did help. when I let the gym take a backseat to “life” my disorder and those unhealthy behaviors creeped back in. •
tonight, while looking at facebook on the stationary bike, I found this picture of me from 2013. almost one full year after giving birth to my daughter I was almost 70lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight 😨 I was so unhappy, so unhealthy and most of all, so depressed. I took the picture on the right before I went to the gym tonight (ironically to send to my boyfriend to show him the new @lululemon stuff we bought on Sunday) and when I saw the picture of me on the left I was reminded of exactly how much progress i’ve made since then regardless of the fact that i’ve gone backwards in the last year. •
if there’s anything i’ve learned over the years, it’s that progress comes in waves. no one can be motivated 365 days a year. yes, I let myself slip a little bit but i’ve made a hell of a lot of progress in the last 5 years. I wanted to post this to remind myself that even when I think i’ve lost all the progress, it’s not always as bad as I think. if I can make it this far, I can certainly get back to where I want to be.